Grá Ná Dies
by EmmieElliott
Summary: An AU where situations change and life is a bit different for the people of Charming. Not too big of a plot change but it is more where Tara's journey diverts to. Jax/Tara
1. Chapter 1

**Hope you all enjoy this AU that I wrote. There will be more to come I hope you review and tell me what you think!**

Tara knew that her relationship with Jax was rocky. He didn't want to say it but Abel and Wendy were making his mind muddled. She understood why it was happening but suddenly she wasn't so secure about the direction they were going. In the end it was all going to change when Abel left tonight forever. The hospital was a place where she was in control. He was a guest in her world but Charming was his. It always would be and nothing would change.

Walking into the room, she could only sigh at the fact that Jax wanted time to think. After Wendy confrontation, Tara knew that there would be no easy solution to this problem. Wendy was the mother and that meant she deserved to be in that baby's life. Tar could never allow herself to come between a mother and son.

Waiting at the hospital, Tara made her way to Dr. Named's office. Knocking she was surprised to see a man in a full suit sitting across from her boss. " , this is Dr. Arnold. He is the head of the Robert Elliott fellowship program."

"Doctor." Tara greeted as she sat down and faced the doctor.

"It is nice times you Dr. Knowles. I wanted to say that when you put in your resume for our fellowship we were quite shocked that that you would be interested. With your experience you should be able to work at some of the best neonatal programs in be country. I knew I needed to meet you in person." Dr. Arnold was animated as he spoke about her accomplishments.

"Thank you doctor." Tara paused for a moment before asking, "what else do you want to know?"

"I am here to meet you and also I wanted to speak to a few of your superiors." Understanding what he was saying, Tara only nodded but didn't know where this conversation would go.

"Dr. Knowles we will be sad to see you go for the six months but in truth I am happy you will be getting more experience." stepped in and made Tara's heart soar with excitement.

"Are you saying..." Tara trailed off not wanting to hear any type of rejection. Her heart could not take any more false hope that her future would turn out semi successful.

"We are offering you a position in our fellowship." Dr. Arnold stated with a smile on his face. Through the year that showed on his face, his eyes were bright and smile genuine as Tara could only feel excitement and adrenaline pulse through her blood.

"Thank you so much!" A smile was stamped on her face as she shook his hand only feeling happiness. "I appreciate the opportunity. Do you know where my assignment will be?"

"No at the moment there are few places that want your expertise but the fellowship committee is still placing doctors." His explanation suppressed any other questions she had.

"Congratulations Tara you may go back to rounds. We will speak to administration about time you will be miss." Following orders Tara headed back out to the NICU where she'd order her mind not to wonder off into the future and all the adventures that she may get up to.

Suddenly reality hit her in the face. And that someone was Gemma Teller. She was standing over Abel's crib looking down at her grandson who would be released in a few moments when Dr. Named finished his meeting with Dr. Arnold. " will be here in a few minutes. He is just finishing up a meeting."

"What are you his secretary now?" Gemma was quick to shoot back at her. Knowing that this was only because of her hate for Tara, she ignored the comment and only looked down at the scribble on his chart assuming this would be the last time she ever would do this.

"Sorry to make you wait Mrs. Morrow. Where is Mr. Teller?" Dr. Named huffed out as he looked around the room.

"He is on his way he just had to pick up his wife." Tara knew that Gemma threw the words together in order to hit Her square in the face. This tact was nothing new to Gemma and she had mastered the technique but Tara had known her long enough that if you stood your ground and didn't falter then she had no power.

"Oh good then I suggest Dr. Knowles go over some things to ensure that you are prepared in case anything should arise." Both of them nodded as Tara grabbed the paper work that the nurses had printed out giving guidelines for the families to make the transition easy for all parties involved.

Walking out of the NICU for the last time, Tara and Gemma spoke and it left nothing but a bitter taste in her throat. Moving through the halls, they were met with the nurses station and also Jax with Wendy trailing behind him. "Hey Little Man are you ready to head out."

" cleared him to leave. He is all set." Tara answered as she signed the final over regarding Abel. "I just have a few papers for you to sign and then he is all yours."

"Where are they at?" Jax asked as he moved Abel so he sitting carefully against his shoulder.

"Right here. Just sign at the x and you will be good to go." Tara pointed at the last few pages and watched as he quickly signed the papers leave his scribbles on the harsh white paper.

" , it is good to see you again. I see you are taking everyone's favorite patient." Suddenly Dr. Named came out of nowhere surprising all huddled around the swaddled newborn. "I am happy I was able to catch you. I wanted to show Dr. Arnold how strong Abel is. He is a neonatal surgeon himself and worked with some of the best neonatal programs and is currently working in Philadelphia with the best Children's hospital in the U.S."

"It is quite the miracle. I have never seen a newborn survive such tremendous endeavors and have a successful recovery. was correct about doing the surgery concurrent to each other in order to reduce the stress." Dr. Arnold rambled on as Gemma continued to look as if she wanted to escape in order to attend the event that was being held at Jax's house.

"Did you come all this way to see Abel?" Wendy asked almost proud at the fact that her son was being thought of as special.

"I also came to see Dr. Knowles." Dr. Arnold stated and immediately Jax's looked at her own. She was able to see the question in his eyes as they spoke their own silent language that the years being connected gave her.

"Well we should probably head out since there are family waiting back at the house." Gemma quickly shoved her words into the silence before any other person could continue to spill information out.

"Of course have a good night." Tara felt herself relax.

"Thank you Doctor for everything you have done." Gemma spoke and this was a time that shocked Tara. She heard the voice of a grandmother thankful for the life of her first grandson instead of the ruthless queen who craved power over all of her subjects.

"Your welcome but there many others who helped out. Just make sure to keep him health." Tara turned to Dr. Arnold while Dr. Named spoke.

"Everything is a go. You will be given the six months off." Dr. Arnold stated as Tara only gave him a smile and shook his hands while thanking him. This was her time to do something with this degree.

After an hour worth of work she was finally released for the last time. In a day she would be on a plane somewhere far away from the happy little family. She would be free for once in her life and that was nice. Jax would always be her love of the ages but it was time for her to grow up. They would never make it. The Doctor and the Biker. The two together could never cohabitate. She would either assimilate into the biker world or he would lose all that he was. Reality was a bitch and slapped her in the face with this fellowship offer.

Walking over the threshold she was stopped immediately by Donna with a large hug. She was happy to have the other woman around as a comfort. Then those damn blue eyes came out of nowhere. "Come with me I want to talk."

Following his lead she walked down the short hall way into Abel's nursery. "Gemma did a great job."

"Yeah she did. When we you going to tell me?" Leaning against the crib railing she could see the white appear on his knuckles.

"I just found out." Tara admitted as she tried to remain neutral. Emotions would only make the situation worse.

"Where are you going?" Jax asked as he turned towards her.

"Boston first for training for a few days and then after that Belfast." Immediately Jax's face perked at the idea of one of their charters being close to Tara.

"Why did you apply to this?" His voice sounded defeated as her ears could barely pick up the frequency.

"It was before we were together and it was my back up in case Kohn found me. You know me Jax all I do is run from shit. And you stay and live with it." It was the truth and Tara would never regret speaking up for the first time in her life to him.

"We will be here waiting for you." Jax admitted as he gave her a sweet kiss before heading back into the lions den.

Following his lead, she moved through the crowd of people and towards Donna. "Hey you want to get a drink with me. I am heading out for awhile and want to get one last drink before I go back and pack."

"Sure I will tell Opie to take the kids home for me." Nodding both women grabbed their bags while Donna said her goodbyes for the night. She gave Jax one last nod before she made her way out of the bar.

A few drinks in Donna decided she wanted to head home and called Opie for a ride up. Tara followed her lead and headed off to her own house leaving Donna in the bathroom who demanded she lead home immediately and the statement that this was 'a SAMCRO bar'.

It was simple to pack up her belongings. Most were still packed. Then her cell rang. Picking up it Donna crying on the other line saying that Opie's car had been shot at and had been ran into a telephone pole. He was unconscious and Donna needed a ride to the hospital. Grabbing her keys she sped through the sleep town and took a wife to see her husband. Unfortunately for Donna it sounded bad and the medical bills alone would kill SAMCRO.

"Thank you so much but you need to go if you want to make you flight." Donna's voice awoke her as she looked up at a strong woman who was giving her a kind smile even though her husband was in a coma at the moment.

Jax had already been around and looked lost at the sight of his friend. It was a terrible sight but Tara didn't go to him. Donna needed her more.

"Okay but email me when he awakes. I want to know immediately." Tara demanded as she grabbed her things off the chair.

"Of course." Nodding she headed out of the hospital while saying goodbye to friends and colleagues offering well wishes for her future adventures.

With her bags in the back she drove one more time towards Jax's house. Knocking she heard a silent house awaken as the door opened to Wendy standing there in the shirt that Jax had been wearing the night before. "Can I help you Doc?"

"Yeah I was hoping to speak to Jax but I can see that he isn't here." Tara stated hoping to grab any information from the ex-junkie.

"He is here but he is asleep. It was a long night." Her innuendo was clear and didn't phase her one bit.

"Well then tell him I will see him in a few months." Nodding Wendy quickly shut the front door in her face. Leaving the letter that she had written with his name on it, she walked away with a weight off her chest. There were no more questions about their relationship.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is anther update. Hope you all like and sorry about any spelling errors I wrote this tonight. Enjoy and I love hearing from all of you guys so review and tell me how you feel. **

Living thousands of miles away was not enough for Tara to truly get away from it all. She knew there was a charter in town but would have thought that it would have similar pull in the town as similar to the one back home in Charming. Living abroad however was an experience that all should experience. Everything moment was adventure whether it was in the operating room or the actual real world.

But she could not escape the mayhem. On occasion she would be on break or asleep when a call would come through on her American phone. It was usually Gemma or Donna asking for advice. These calls kept her updated on the happenings of Charming. Donna made sure to call when Opie had awoken almost a month ago. Also had called to announce that both Bobby and he had been release of all charges against them.

She had pulled a few strings for Gemma to be treated under complete confidentiality and even offered to put her house for collateral when Jax was picked up along with other members on weapon charges. All in all she heard the chaos that was the small town and started to think about maybe not returning to the sleepy town. When she left she had already packed her bags and left all other baggage back in that place. Leaving meant she gave up that life with that person but she couldn't break away from the lifestyle. Living away meant she realized how addictive it was.

One downside to living in Belfast however was the bodyguard that Jax assigned to her. She knew he was trying to protect her but in truth it lead her to something she was surprised occurred. Kyle was a kind and gentle man. He would wait for her outside the hospital with a cup of coffee waiting after a long thirty six hour shift. It happened quick and fast but she fell into bed with the man. And it was not once or twice. He had warmed her bed on occasions when she felt alone and cold.

This night was the same circumstance. She woke to the phone ringing. Maureen Ashby, the sweeter and more motherly version of Gemma was on the other side of the line. Some of the men had gotten in a shootout and one had gotten knocked and needed her stitching.

"You have the worse hours. How do you function with this little of sleep." His words were muddled with sleep and accent but Tara only smiled as she pulled her bra on.

"Years of schooling teaches you how to survive with little sleep." Tara replied as she started to pull on her shirt but was stopped when he lightly traced her crow tattoo.

"Your six months are almost up. What are you going to do?" Kyle asked and she had to pause before looking back at him with a slight smirk.

"I go back to Charming and then see where life takes me." Tara replied with a simple answer.

"What about staying here. I am sure the hospital would love to keep you around. You could really get some shit going for neonatal here." Kyle explained as Tara just ignored his suggestion.

"This was only to make my resume more impressive and boost my career. Belfast is not where I am going to end up." Her admittance was harsh and blunt but she was tired of hiding her feelings from all who were near.

"So where will Tara Knowles fall?" Listening to his question Tara did the classic wiggle and jump to pull her jeans over her hips.

"Wherever the winds take me." It was cheesy but the truth for her. Jax had given Wendy another chance to be apart of Abel's life and she would not let herself wallow. He deserved to have both parents in his life and any relationship that may form between her and Abel would be one of complete understanding that she was only the person who helped save his life.

"How has that been working for you?" The inquiry almost irked her in a way she couldn't explain. She knew she was a runner but it was never something someone spoke about except for Jax.

"Pretty well actually."Her response was quick as she made herself move towards the door while holding it open for Kyle to leave first.

"Now I just feel cheap." Kyle replied as he pulled his pants on while grabbing his kutte from the floor. "I didn't realize I was the girl in this relationship."

"Oh sweetie this isn't a relationship." It was harsh but Tara was starting to pull away. Talking was not what she wanted to do with him and now he seemed to want to learn more about her.

"Damn you are one harsh lass." She said nothing as she locked her apartment door and headed towards to her car.

"I'll see you later." Sitting in her car, she headed over towards the clubhouse where her patient was lying in the middle of Maureen's living room.

Chaos surrounded them as his brothers tries to sedate him. Once she walked in, they immediately stepped away so that she could look at the injury. As she studied the eye, she realized this was nothing too dangerous. A few stitches and he should be good as new.

"Thanks so much, I am happy you were still awake." Maureen quickly grabbed her in a large hug.

"It was no problem. I know the boys have a run tonight so I figured I would be getting a call." Tara said as she looked around noticing the lack of testosterone in the room as all of the boys filed out of the upstairs apartment.

"They are heading out for another one tonight so you won't be seeing Kyle for a few days." Maureen had been one of the first to figure out the relationship between the two.

"Good that means I won't be having a babysitter for a few days." Tara deflected the idea before she headed towards the sink cleaning her hands with warm water and soap.

"You head back home in a few weeks. What are your plans after?" Her thick accent was almost calming as she took a breath while looking out of the window.

"I don't know, a few people are asking for my information but Charming is home and I don't know if I can leave again." She let out her breath realizing how much of her feelings she was showing.

"Is it Charming or Jax?" That was the question she was dreading answering.

"I don't know because they are one in the same. I learned a long time ago that Charming is the same without Jax and Jax isn't Jax without that town." Rambling was something Tara didn't do often so Maureen just stood there listening to the words fall out of her mouth. "I also know what I want to do in surgery. My hands are always steady and sure but my mind is never silent. I can't stop these questions from rushing through my head. I don't sleep anymore without dreams of the different futures I can have."

"Which ones do you wake up feeling good about it?" Maureen through in for Tara to consider.

"All of them end with Jax. I really do regret being with Kyle but he is apart of Belfast. He was the first normal relationship I have had in years but…" She paused trying to find her words.

"Is it really the person you are suppose to be with?" Maureen finished the question for her and she felt her legs weaken. "How about I make you some tea and we can talk."

Nodding Tara sat down at the table while she put the kettle on the stove top. Putting her medical supplies away she felt happy that her hands were keeping her mind busy. Just then there was a knock on the door that took both women's attention. "I'll get it."

Hearing Maureen tell someone to come in, Tara stood knowing that there was something off. "Get that child out of the damp."

"Maureen is everything alright?" Tara asked coming out into the hallway. She stopped immediately when she saw the blue eyes looking at her. "Abel?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay haven't been feeling right after watching season 7. Hope you enjoy because many of you have requested for me to continue. Sorry for any type of mistakes I wrote this quickly. Enjoy and review!**

Looking at the baby in her arms made Tara realize what was happening. "What is he doing here?"

"Cammy, my cousin brought him last night. Apparently SAMCRO killed his son back in Charming and he took the baby for revenge." Maureen explained as she suddenly bent down a little in order to pick up the baby.

"I need to call Jax now, he is probably freaking out right now." Tara added as she walked over towards the couch with the baby resting on her shoulder.

"Kellan is coming in the morning and will decide what we need to do. They make the decision now." Maureen explained as she grabbed the kettle that was screaming off the stove top and pour it into two mugs.

"Why would SAMCRO kill his son?" Tara was at a lost for words. She knew that killing was in the realm but the idea of killing someone who didn't initiate it first in Charming was not their style.

"Apparently it was Gemma." And that's when it all hit. There had to be a connection with the rape. She had called a few times talking about what had happened and there inside her gut, Tara knew that somehow that was the reason.

"Jesus Christ!" Tara groaned as she realized that chaos was probably ensuing back in Charming. She could almost picture the town burned down to ashes as the boys tried to fix the mess Gemma had created while trying to find Abel.

"Sleep in Trinity's room tonight with the babe. I guessed you would have wanted to be with him for a little while before Kellan comes."Nodding in agreement, Tara headed back to the room.

She knew from stories told to her, that the Irish were not meant to be touched. If you dealt with the Irish it meant that your life and how long it would be was in their control. Her life was not involved with Jax's anymore so she knew that she could not get involved. If the Irish asked then she would do what they wanted. One thing she did know about Father Ashby was that he would not harm a child.

As the sun rose, she heard the door open and the footsteps approach the kitchen. Maureen and Kellan were speaking and she was not one to get involved with family matters. Hearing Maureen call her name, she had to calm her breathe before she walked out of the room.

The father stood there and looked at her for a moment before motioned for the baby. At that moment she looked at Maureen to see her nod before she placed Abel into his arms while whispering, "I'm sorry baby."

"He will be safe from any harm. May I ask you something Doctor?" Kellan asked as he quieted the fussing baby.

"Yes." Tara was fighting tears that threatened to fall.

"Do you love his father? Abel?" It was two simple questions that broke her heart to hear.

"Yes I love both of them." Tara replied as she fixed the hat on top of Abel's head.

"Good you have to let him go in order for him to be safe." Giving her one last nod she watched as he quickly left the apartment. Waiting to hear the car engine drift off into the distance, she grabbed her phone and did something she didn't know whether she would regret later.

"Tara?" Hearing Opie's voice made her realize how long it has been since she left.

"Opie you need to get Jax to Ireland as soon as possible. The Irish have Abel." That was all she could say before she hung up and walked out of the apartment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay haven't been feeling right after watching season 7. Hope you enjoy because many of you have requested for me to continue. Sorry for any type of mistakes I wrote this quickly. Enjoy and review!**

Tara still felt the double shift she had pulled. For thirty six hours straight she had went from one case to another examining all of her patients who were in all stages of sickness. Some of them reminded her of Abel but she continually had to push that thought away. He could not infiltrate her mind while she worked. It was also her last shift.

Changing out of her scrubs, she finally looked at her phone and couldn't help but sigh. Jax hadn't picked up when she called to tell him that Abel was in Belfast. Ever since it had been missed he had continually called even though Maureen had informed her that he had gotten the information and she didn't want to talk with him.

"Goodbye Dr. Knowles." Kerrie, a nurse, said as she was also finishing out her shift.

"Thanks Kerrie, I am going to miss this place." Tara spoke as she finished changing and grabbed her bag.

In her car, she felt the phone vibrate and saw that Maureen had texted her telling her that SAMCRO had arrived. Taking a breath she knew that there would be a stop before she headed home to sleep for a few hours. Moving through the streets she made the few turns needed before she entered the lot.

There she sat looking out at SAMBEL as they sat together with a few of SAMCRO members there waiting looking around at the grey sky looming over the city. Taking a moment she finally got out of the car and stood there with her sunglasses over her eyes looking around for Jax's blonde hair.

"Tara!" Immediately her head shot up towards the stairs where Jax, Clay, and Gemma were all standing there looking down at her.

Waving she gave him a smile as Gemma beat him down the stairs in order to wrap her arms around her. Tara and she both sighed as they took a moment to be around the other. Gemma gently whispered in her ear, "you saw our boy?"

"Yeah I did a full evaluation when I had him. He is healthy and his heart is strong." Tara replied as she took a moment. "I had to give him up. The father is keeping him safe for you."

"I know sweetheart, thanks for the call." Tara smiled again and watched as Trinity and Maureen approach after them.

"What else do you know?" Jax asked her as he stepped forward looking at her as if she had all the answers.

"Nothing much. I have been working my last few shifts at the neonatal hospital."Tara explained as she glanced back where everyone was looking. Maureen and Trinity were approaching behind her.

"You moving back to California?" Gemma asked as a distraction of the meeting that was bound to happen in moments.

"For the moment it is up in the air. I have gotten a few offers to stay abroad." Tara replied knowing that her father's house was still there waiting for her to make a decision with it. She would have to wrap anything else up if she wanted leave but that could always be done over the phone.

"Our boys have been missing you while you were gone but we can talk later." Gemma replied as she took the first step to speak with Maureen. All around the parties involved knew this was going to be awkward.

Getting the message from Father Ashby, there needed to be a warning from Tara to Jax. She knew what these people could do. The stories that she heard were beyond the stories of SAMCRO. These people were an army who would not stand for any type of disrespect. Pulling him aside, she made sure to keep a look out for people watching.

"Hey you need to make sure that you are going into this meeting clear headed. Don't let what they say sting your temper. These people will kill you immediately. Be calm and you will get your son back." Tara promised as she looked into his eyes. "Come to this address when you are done. Don't tell anyone where you are going. They can't know."

Placing a piece of paper in his hand she closed it for him. "It's only two blocks down from the church."

Moving through the apartment she said her goodbyes before moving down the stairs towards her car. Before her hand caught the door handle Gemma's voice rang through the empty parking lot.

"Hey baby, I just wanted to tell you sorry for all of the shit I put you through. I see how helpful you have been for me and I just want to say sorry for how I treated you. Wendy isn't Abel's mother. You always were. When we get him back, you should consider coming back with us." Her words caught her off guard. Gemma never spoke like this.

"That attack has really changed you." Tara replied as her mind tried to analyse what had just happened.

"I am the reason why Abel was taken. He deserves a mother. These past few months I realized that Jax needs someone to take care of him so he can take care of Abel. I have Clay, he needs you." Her eyes almost felt like a cartoon they way they shot out of her head.

"I don't know if Jax and I are meant to be. We are always missing each other in some way. Maybe fate was trying to tell me something." Maybe she wasn't meant to be in his life.

"Fate brought us here. That says something. It brought Abel to you." Gemma replied before Tara nodded to acknowledge that she understood what she was saying.

"I have to get to apartment. There is a lot of packing to do."Pulling Tara into a hug, she allowed her to let Tara go before she headed back up to the apartment.

Hours passed as the moon quickly moved through the cloudy night sky. There was a light cascade of moonlight that came through the window while the lamps were the only thing bringing light to her small apartment. Kyle and she had not seen each other since SAMCRO's arrival. She didn't want him around anymore. She was leaving and that is all that mattered to her. Kyle knew what he was getting with her.

A knock on her door interrupted her packing. Most of her things were neatly put together and labeled for the move back. Her bags were half way packed and ready for the trip home in a few days. Her passport had been pulled out and was sitting on her bar. Opening up the door, she was happy to a head of blonde hair facing a different direction.

"Jax" It was as if she sighed the name in relief.

"They took Abel somewhere and are using him as blackmail. It is so fucked up." Allowing him into the apartment she let him vent for a moment without any interruptions.

"I can't get him back until I kill Jimmy." Sitting on her chair he placed his head in his hands rubbing the tension out of his eyes. "All I want is Abel to be back home. He has been through too much shit already."

Before she could reply a small cry made it through the apartment. His head shot up and looked towards her bedroom door.

"What the fuck?"

**Sorry about the outline. Fanfiction made it look weird. **


	5. Chapter 5

"It's why I wanted you to stop by. I couldn't tell you in the open because I didn't want anyone to know. I lied about Abel." Standing she lead him into the bedroom where little hands were waving in the air angry at the lack of attention. Leaning over, Tara pulled the baby from his bed and lifted him up so Jax could finally see his son.

"How did you do it?" Jax asked astounded by what had happened.

"Once I had my hands on Abel I couldn't let him go. I made a deal with the good Father. I had to promise that I would take him away from the Club life in exchange for Abel. He was going to give him away in some Catholic adoption scheme. They had an American family ready in the wings if I didn't agree." Tara explained as Jax took his son in his arms happy to finally have him safe in his arms.

"Thank you so much Tara. I can't believe you did this for me. Who else knows?" Kissing Abel on his head, Tara had to hold her breathe to keep from tears spilling out.

"Maureen and Father Ashby. SAMBEL can't be trusted. Ashby thinks that there are moles within the club and Jimmy O'Fallen is going against the army." Tara explained as she let her hand rest on Abel's back pulling his shirt to cover a piece of exposed skin.

"He wants me to get rid of Jimmy in order to get Abel." Jax paused for a moment. "We need to get out of here now before any more shit happens. I don't want either of you two out of reach from me."

"I can't do that Jax. I had to promise that you wouldn't know where Abel is. I had to swear that you would be written out of my life for good. He gave me everything I need to leave. Abel has a passport with my last name on it for travel back in the states." Tara was afraid of his reaction. She could see the anger in his eyes but she couldn't falter. He couldn't be allowed to convice her to stay here.

"No he is my son and you are my old lady. I can't let you leave me." He was desperate and it was apparent in his voice.

"You need to do what the Irish tell you. I have been here for six months. I know what they are capable of doing. You have a relationship with them, you know that this isn't just a business for them. In their minds this is a war they need to fight. SAMCRO is just the middleman to get what they want." Her voice was strong but she needed to resist what him. This had to be like when she left for school. She knew the stories about Gemma were true. Gemma would only hurt their relationship in the long run. Jax had to do what they say and then react when Ashby denies him the right of fatherhood.

"I can't lose you again." His voice cracked for a moment because this time she wasn't running from him. She was running because she knew that he would only accept the loss of his son if he knew she was the one who had him.

"Just get out of the club. Do your time. Finish the business you started back in Charming. Complete whatever they want you to do and then when the end comes you can be with us. Get Opie to leave the club. Make it go legit. Take your time and whenever you can come see us. It's the only way Ashby will let you have Abel." Tara explained as she tried to show the loop she saw in the plan.

"I can't let the club die. It's the only legacy I have left of my father." Jax tried to explain as he felt the tear in his soul. The love for his brothers and the love of his family.

"These past few months have been horrible without you but I learned I could live without you. I was empty and lost but I knew that our love was still there. Come to us when you can. Let Abel know you are there with him. Make the club the best it can be. Give the rest of the guys a shot at life. Keep Tig from any weapons and then build off of that. Don't get into things that will hurt the club thinking that it will help shorten the time you are away from us. Do everything right." She felt as if she was pleading for something but knew that Jax was smart. He could do it if there weren't any pressure from her.

"What about my mom. She loves Abel so much. I can't leave her in the dark. Let her mourn the loss of another child." Jax knew that Abel had helped build a cover for the hole that had been created by Thomas' death.

"I need to tell you something. Maureen was your father's lover." She paused waiting for his reaction. "Trinity, her daughter, is your dad's. They use to write letters to each other while he was in Charming. He said that he thought Clay and Gemma were going to try and kill him. He knew that they were together while he was away. Maureen has these letters. Ask her for them in private. She showed me them once. Its something you need to see. Show them to the club and make them change their minds on Clays leadership."

"I knew about the relationship but not about the kid. I can't believe it. God my family is fucked up." His breath left his body for a moment while he tried to find some comfort in his son.

"Hey you are fine. I know even how much you hate Wendy, you would never kill her. You love Abel too much to even think of killing his mom." She moved forward to let him pull her into him.

"Nah he isn't her son. He was yours from the moment he was born." Pushing his lips into hers she noticed that Abel had fallen asleep on his shoulder. "Let me put him down and we can keep talking in the other room."

Tara watched as Jax lowered the baby into his makeshift crib. Pointing towards the door, she lead the way to the couch. Sitting down, her head found its path to his shoulder while his arm pulled her in close. "I love you."

"I love you too." Looking at him, she quickly allowed herself to be pulled in by her. His scents were the same. It was so uniquely Jax even down to the distinct smell of his favorite brand of cigarettes.

"When does your plane leave?" He asked pulling away for a moment.

"Tomorrow morning around six." Breaking eye contact her eyes scanned the room until it fell on the two passports waiting on the table.

"Good I want you out of here as soon as possible. I don't know how much shit might happen here and I want you two as far away as possible." Jax was insistent in his voice trying to convey the importance of her absence.

"Just be careful. I can't lose you too." Tara replied as she moved to straddle his lap. "I have waited too long for you."

And that was their first and last night together.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here you guys go. Hope you like it and thanks for all the support. Sorry it took so long for me to upload it. **

Tara was happy to be finally off the plane. All of her time was spent in fear that Abel would have a breakdown while on the flight. At eleven hours, she fear that the baby would be awake while the pressure from the height beatdown on his sensitive ears. However, Abel being Abel slept almost the entire way to Chicago. Landing in O'Hare, she quickly found a cab and headed off to her apartment. There waiting for her is the new apartment in her old building. Just four blocks from the hospital where there was a spot waiting for Abel at their daycare.

"We are home baby." Tara was happy that she had been able to get this apartment fully furnished. With a job waiting for her at Chicago Med, there was a sense of relief. Abel had been put on record for her but the Irish had insured that her name was out there for Gemma to find but not Abels. His name would not be released until he was old enough. She was officially Abel's mother. Her story had been that she had found Abel in an orphanage during her stay in Northern Ireland. He had become her patient with his heart defect and she just couldn't let him go. It was mostly the truth. She realized that if Jax never came back she would make. In her mind, Abel and the newest baby were her soul mates. They had grabbed her heart and filled most of the hole that had formed when she left Jax.

Putting him to bed, Tara fell asleep also with thoughts that went immediately to Jax and the fact that he wouldn't be following her back here. She was alone and for her that was okay. Abel was safe with her. Jax knew where he was. Gemma and Clay would receive punishment for all of the crimes they had committed.

Days passed before she heard any news. Jimmy O'Phelan had been killed in Belfast. No one knew what had happened but McGee and O'Neill were also casualties of SAMCRO's visit. Gemma had no idea where Tara had ended up. She made no inquiries of where Tara decided to settle. Tara assumed that it was just because Gemma was too worried about Abel than what she did. All she could do was wait.

Months passed and before she got any information. SAMCRO was locked up. No one really had any information but she did however receive weekly letters from Jax detailing what was happening. Some of them were letters for Abel that Tara would read to the toddler before bedtime. Nothing really ever came out. One time after a long shift she had received a call from Gemma at the hospital during her shift.

"Dr. Knowles." Tara stated not knowing which parent would be calling while they knew she was there.

"Tara, we need to talk." Gemma's voice immediately make Tara's heart speed up.

"Gemma what's wrong?" Her voice cracked and she feared that this would create some type of suspicion in her mind.

"We haven't found anything on Abel and Jax is locked up. I need your help. There isn't any record on where that Father took Abel." Gemma was rambling and that was the tell to Tara that she was panicked but from the stories she heard from Maureen, Gemma was only about herself. She would kill Tara before she let Tara have her boys.

"I have no way of helping you Gemma. The club has more pull than I do." Tara was staying calm but only had so much time before she would crack.

"I know but I didn't know if there was anywhere you could do. I thought that you might feel a little bit guilty. Letting the Irish take my grandson and all." And at that comment Tara knew why she was keeping this secret.

"There was and is nothing I can do to help you. I did what you wanted. I left because of what you said. I wasn't ready to live that life. Chicago is my home and Jax knows it." Hanging up the phone, Tara could only say a little silent pray in hopes that it was the final words she would speak.

Rubbing her large stomach she realized that she would be a mother of two before she ever got married. No one in her life asked about the father. They waited for her to tell them. She explained that it had been a man from her past that had shown up in Belfast unannounced. It was one night but she didn't regret anything. Hanging up the phone, Tara felt her heart start to calm down.

That was the last contact she ever got from Charming. Weeks turned into months and months turned into a years before Tara could even imagine it. Her son Thomas had been born nine months to the day she left Belfast. He was healthy with no type of heart defect found. All the years of med school and undergraduate had prepared her to be able to do her best work without any type of sleep. When the baby was born she gave a call to the Club's lawyer. Before she even got to telling why she was calling she insisted that this would all be confidential. After Lowen had assured her that nothing would be released to any one she didn't want to tell she gave her the news on Thomas. Asked that she go to the prison and tell Jax for her. Tare even gave her money for her time just because she wanted to insure that there was nothing to repeat. The only information she got back was that Jax was ecstatic and happy to know that she and the baby were safe.

From her count, Jax should be out of Stockton but it would take time for him to come. Leaving SAMCRO was not an easy task and especially with information that she had given him in Ireland. Tara doubted that Clay would make it through his first night out once Jax showed all the letters. Piney would not hesitate to put the piece of shit down.

Three months went by. She was gearing up to celebrate Thomas' second birthday and had taken the day off. She was happy that she had been able to pick up the boys after she changed into normal clothes. As long as nothing happened within her walk to the car she would be free for over forty eight hours. However when she was paged to the nurses desk her heart dropped. Rounding the corner with Abel holding her hand and Thomas in her arms she was shocked at what was in front of her.

"Hey." His voice was smooth as he stepped towards her. Smiling, Tara couldn't stop herself from letting the tears fall. He quickly pulled her into a hug as both Abel and Thomas were caught in the middle of the embrace.

"Hey." Her voice mumbled as it was drunk up by the fabric of his plaid shirt.

"Daddy?" Abel asked as he looked up at Jax. Tara's heart stopped as she pulled away to look down at Abel who was looking at Jax with curious eyes. Jax seemed frozen for a moment before he pulled him into his arms.

"Yeah little man. It's been a long time since I've seen you." Tara heart literally skipped a beat when she heard his little nickname for Abel.

"Mommy shows me pictures of you." His voice was confident as gave her a smile to show how smart he was.

"Good because I have missed you very much." His lips found Abel's forehead before glancing at Thomas who was hiding his face in Tara's neck. "Is that Thomas?"

"Yup he's my little brother." Jax's smile appeared on Abel's lips. The same smile that Jax gave her when he knew he was right.

"Do you mind if I give you to Mommy so I can hold him?" Jax asked in a simple tone.

"Okay." Reaching his arms out, Tara pulled him into her arms while trying to help Jax grab a hold of a shy Thomas.

"Hi buddy, I'm your daddy." Jax stated the moment Thomas was fully in his grip. He lifted him lightly above his head to get a better look at the baby.

"I will say one thing Teller. All of your kids tend to look like you." Tara stated as she started to walk out of the hospital. "Help me put the kids into the car and then you can follow us home."

"Actually I don't have my bike any more. I gave it to one of the prospect to show that I was done with SAMCRO. Do you mind giving me a ride."

"Sure where are your bags?" Tara asked only seeing a backpack on his back.

"This is it. All of my clothes has SONS shit on it. I left them back with the club." Jax explained as he walked alongside Tara to the parking lot.

"I guess we can go shopping tomorrow for clothes for you." Tara stated as she finally reach her SUV. Smiling she watched as Thomas became content in his father's arm. Both of them got the boys situated in the back. Climbing in she couldn't help but reach across the console and grab Jax into a passionate kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too so much." And in that moment both of them realized they were free.

And that is it guys. Thanks for all the love and support.


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